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Cultural Contrasts? |
Anecdotal information
By Emy Murakawa
As I was reading the November issue of the Newsletter, I was struck about other cultural contrasts that have impacted my life, and I thought I would share some of them with you in this, my last, official contribution to the Cultural Corner. I have so enjoyed sharing these vignettes with you, and I hope that I have planted seeds of curiosity in all of you and that others of you will step forward to continue this fun and educational endeavor. I hope to contribute from time to time, but I have a new cultural perpetuation project to which I will be turning my attention.
I have always felt a little like a fish out of water. I was born a Nisei in a time of the Sansei. When I came out of Crystal City, I was six months old. I have no memories of my own about camp, and my parents never spoke of camp when I was growing up. I was told I was born in camp, but the only connotation I had had of camp was going on an outing and perhaps sleeping in a tent.
I have always been struck by all the etiquette, tradition, and customs that have been ingrained in me since I can remember, and how so many are no longer observed in Japan because of its westernization. I was an adult before I really understood that those things my parents espoused were from an era of pre-WWII Japan and that should my parents return to live in Japan, they would be in for a major culture shock.
For instance, coming out of camp, most of our parents pushed all of us to be stellar students and citizens. After having been incarcerated, they did not ever want us to be second-class people ever again. Our respect for law enforcement officers and teachers was almost equal to the respect accorded our parents. And, oh, my goodness, if any of the obasans or ojisans should see us misbehaving! But, can that compare to the pressures our counterparts in Japan have been subjected to? Excellence in education for children in Japan is determined almost by the kindergarten to which they are accepted. Four- and five-year-olds are actually tested to get in to the elite schools which will enable them to matriculate into the better schools as they progress. The pressures on Japan’s youth are incredible. Is it any wonder they have the highest suicide rate among young people? And think of the poor B+ students – never quite succeeding, never quite actually failing except in the eyes of their parents, peers and educators as they are unable to matriculate into the better schools at the next level. Among my friends here in the US there were students who were unable to survive even the pressure here and felt diminished in some way. It’s like a self-imposed caste system of sorts. Here in the US, there is recognition of that fact that it takes all kinds – not just professionals with advanced degrees. Yet, my brother recently shared with me that one of our aunts in Japan actually denigrated my parents when my brother didn’t become a doctor as all her sons had. (And this was a family to whom we had sent money and goods from whatever work my parents did after the war!) Yes, of course, we want our children to do no less than that of which they are capable, but we need to recognize what that is and make them whole and happy people first. It’s a fine line we straddle as parents.
I perhaps lived in a tighter fishbowl than most, but I survived it because it never occurred to me that it could be otherwise. I was not the model child, by any means, but being among Sansei, I don’t think I rebelled much worse than most. I got away with much because I was a good student and active in school and temple. My parents’ yardstick for me was basically the report card. Because of the language barrier, my parents came to few of my school functions or teacher conferences. (I, on the other hand, have been so involved in my children’s lives as to be overly intrusive.)
I will never forget when I ran and was elected to be a cheerleader at school. My parents were very upset and told me it was mittomonai (shameful). That was very painful, but I was fortunate because there were reverend’s daughters who had been cheerleaders in each of the two previous squads, and I went ahead even without their approval. It still saddens me that my parents never saw me in any of my school activities, because I know how much pleasure I got from watching my children in all that they did.
More recently, I have been struck by another contrast. In Japan, elder care had fallen to the oldest son. In Western cultures, elder care seemed to fall to the daughter. Now, both here and in Japan, it is not uncommon for elders to go to retirement or convalescent homes. When my father passed away, I never questioned that my mother’s care would fall to me. Then, more recently, when my father-in-law fell ill and when my mother was considering moving to the Japanese retirement home, my mother-in-law said that my brother would never allow it, just as she knew her own son would not allow it for her. This was a total shock to me! (Hey, Ray, are you hearing this?) Issei and kibei parents have brought their own Japan with them, not realizing that Japan today is quite different. Cultural contrast must seem more like cultural conflict.
As you can see, the Cultural Corner can be all manner of things, and you are all invited to submit ideas and articles. They can be anecdotal pieces, research pieces, or even just food for thought. It was my hope when I started this that all of you would find this to be a forum in which you could participate and contribute. Although I have enjoyed bringing it to life, it was never meant to be a one-person show, and I hope that by removing myself, others of you will bring forward thoughts and ideas so this becomes the community’s Cultural Corner.